TAYLOR YEOMANS

Taylor is an American writer and flash fiction pioneer. Originally from Roswell, Georgia, she graduated from the Meek School of Journalism at the University of Mississippi, and now lives in California. Taylor crafts stories with subtle layers of meaning, exploring perspectives from a single molecule to the farthest edges of the universe. She is published in Juste Milieu and Girls N Sugar.

All-Stars is Taylor's third appearance in PASTEL.

You describe your online presence, Lilac Laced Love, as a 'modern mythological exploration'. Wherein lies the mythology to the work you showcase across Lilac's digital platform?

Lilac Laced Love, initially I imagined as my Leaves of Grass. A place where I could express my current literary explorations. A project that I would continue to edit over time. I imagined it's definition would evolve. That's how my mind framed it for digestion. I had this vision of what it may become. But also, most certainly, still ask myself what it is? The truth of Lilac Laced Love continues to unfold. I have described it as a modern mythological exploration because to me at this time it makes the most sense that way.

There are several reasons I have come to this conclusion. To begin with, each story is connected through these key themes of being connected to nature, to the universe, to this power of transmutation, the power of love, and the mysticism of the soul. They all share themes of exploring animal energies. They all personify the forces of nature. Like a reflection of within, which is also a reflection of without. Like far deep in the universe, this idea of where we come from. I am continuously reflecting upon these questions of what is the soul, why did we come into existence. I think these are normal questions to ask. To me the answers are mirrored in these forces. Of nature, and that is why mythology exists. To relay these truths. The personification of nature as a catalyst for soul transcendence.

My liberties in voice are what I consider modern, but perhaps is better categorized as futuristic. I might change the explanation entirely now! Because in explaining it to you, I see a new layer. A futuristic mythological exploration. I stand the right to amend. My intention is inspired by the natural voice. By coming through first person, the reader becomes the force of nature. The first person narrative is intentional in this way. Creating an affirmation of sorts, like the reader is the potency of creation, the birth of the universe, the power of transmutation, the power of love, mysticism of the soul, animal energy, primal nature, ability to birth worlds, and manifest dreams.

These stories are an exploration for two main reasons. An exploration of life and of literature. For me it's a personal exploration of my literary voice, of my soul, my stream of consciousness, my exploration of the universe, of energies, of meditation, of pushing boundaries, and finding transcendence from my weakness and strengths as a writer. They also reflect my literal exploration of life. There are always mirrors into very personal real experiences in my 'exploration of life on earth'. I see it this way perhaps as an element of fun. Like making a statement on how small we are in the universe, or spectrum of what comes together to form creation and experience as we know it. In comparison to the whole, like maybe this work will be found some moment eons away, if some how it ends up on a hard drive, that's excavated by space explorers looking for answers of who we once were. I think feeling that vastness makes you feel more unified and connected to those around you, life, and the universe. I enjoy that juxtaposition, this idea of being so small, while also at the same time your realizing all of the forces of nature, which compose this mystical mystery, are literally you. It's humbling and enchanting.

What inspired the name, Lilac Laced Love?

Lilac Laced Love, came organically. This was even before I knew what I was intending. I was interning in San Francisco, at McSweeney's. We had a cup of hot chocolate with Dave; and he was like, "if you want to be a writer, you should have a blog". At this point I was totally intimidated by the idea of 'my blog'. I was like what am I going to write about all the time. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I felt this deep sense of responsibility. Like what I put up there I would be married to forever. And that what it was giving people to digest was very important. It felt like something I couldn't take lightly.

I was attached to this shallow, sarcastic, comedic tone that I had deployed through my young years; but I was no longer feeling connected to it. I was moving in a direction that felt a need to be more serious. To be in contemplation of the raw hearted truths of life. If I was going to write about something, of course it would be getting to what I find most important about existence. I wanted to cut past all the noise, and find something unique. I was transitioning through what felt like a dark outlook on the world. I wanted to share it, and also I felt this sense of what am I asking people to accept as art. In a world where we are fed so many superficial messages, I felt like I had a responsibility to our time I struggled to get past that weight. Of the depth of intention in creation. One day I said to myself, "let's make this abstract. It can be a place for literature."

I have always been drawn to purple, lilac to me is just a divine word. It was the word that I plucked from the stream. It resonated in the heart. Then I dove for a classic literary device, lilac laced love. Yes, alliteration. I thought a cleaver trick for the fast pace of today. Laced, I just loved the way it rolled off my tongue. It made me think of the delicacy of lace. It also made me think of the idea of something being laced with a force of magic. Love, because love was so much the essence of where I was coming from with the whole project, with following my heart as a writer, for dreaming, and for dedicating myself to my passions.

I spent a year rarely publishing poems. Then I got a little blog fright, I admit, and pulled back from it all. I felt very amateur, shy, and also like I wasn't really sure of my purpose. I had the desire to communicate this completely authentic vision. I wasn't seeing it anywhere, except resting within me. Like this flame that I was fanning. I began to see Lilac Laced Love as a tool for embodiment. A way to get back to presence. I dunno it was all very real for me. My intention or the right action to take felt clouded, and ultimately like it wasn't the right time. So I just kind of left it, for two years. To work behind the scenes. Sometimes I would tell people that it existed. But mostly it was just like a little ether cave, that few rarely came across. Tho the little support I received during that time gave me great encouragement to continue.

At this point I was working multiple jobs, I was studying meditation, and journalling. I was beginning to put several passion projects into motion. A lot of the bigger pieces I am reworking now, began as drafts during that time. During that period, I had this dream one night about flash fiction. I woke up like what is flash fiction, and I started researching it. I came to a point of transition, and I was like it's time to own Lilac Laced Love. I came back to my site. It was it's third birthday. The day I came back to it, I kid you not. So of course, I was like this is divinely synchronistic.

I started to experiment again. Though this time I was really beginning to knock down any boundaries I had felt in that space before. I was feeling more free. Posting longer forms, beginning to get really abstract with ideas and themes, which have really come to define this project for me. I was considering changing the name. Because I had strung the three words together, to become a blog. I wondered if I needed more meaning.

So I dove into researching Lilac, and was really struck to find out its meaning is attached to first love. For me in that moment, I still feel the sense of butterflies in my stomach. Writing is definitely my first love. I first dedicated it to very young, and constantly pursued it since those early moments. I find it to be influenced by every hobby I was interested in growing up. Every class I practice of study informs or shapes what I can contribute to the works. Same is too for the art aspect of Lilac Laced Love. Art is something I have practiced over my lifetime, it's what I love to do with my time. It's also this unique love, because it belongs to me. It's my reflection, and I find it shifts and grows and changes right with me. There is a marriage of soul to word. I give it to the world yes, there is this mutual relationship, and exchange. But it's a love that wasn't about loving something outside of myself, but deep within. It is very empowering to have a love like that in your life. To be in love with the creation of art, is to live like every day is your life. It's so magical really. I think it's given me a deeper sense of my relationships in love as well.

Once I discovered that I had this whole new perspective of the title. I saw it like saying my writing is my first love, and it is laced with this energy of love. The consideration of what I am putting out into the world, and choosing a vibration that begins with love. So it became very poetic to me over time, and I found myself amazed at how it chose its own name. That experience I believe gave me more meaning with it all. It really connected to the themes I was drawing upon in the writings themselves. The mirror of that in the title, I found a treasure.

A direct sense of spirituality runs through your work. In your Issue Two contribution, 'Ode to Hir Banana Slug', you re-jig the titular slowpoke into a metaphor for our movement through "unfavourable circumstances"; to emerge "silken"; and "living in life's connection." In Issue Four, your piece centres around turning inward to resist lethargy and to become "a beacon of light and love." How does your own spiritual belief system motivate you, in both your artistic and personal lives?

My spiritual belief system motivates everything. It always has. I have been undeniably curious about spirit for as long as I can remember. Recalling at six or seven thinking about the age of the soul, wondering if it changes over time with the body. I have always had a very aware nature, connecting to everyone around me. Always quiet and listening. I would say that it informs how I treat people, how I pursue life, how I cultivate creativity. Spirituality influences how I see the world, and inspires my imagination to go wild. It's so mysterious, as an artist it's like a garden you can play within for a lifetime.

'Becoming one' with cosmic forces by way of a meditative connection with higher planes of life is a recurring theme in your work. How has mediation informed or improved your bond with a power beyond our understanding? Meditation has taught me these lessons. It definitely informs my creativity, and my personal life. It allows me to make sense of chaos. Opening my ability to actualize something I see in the dream space. I think my understanding of meditation, and my active practice of it allows me to ground down in things that are difficult for me to articulate. It definitely clears my mind, allows the stream of consciousness to become uninhibited, and it creates the space for my ideas to work themselves out. It connects me to my body, which allows me a capacity to explore creative ways of explaining what I'm thinking, feeling, imagining. It's really a pivotal tool in my life. It has allowed me to transform hardship, a lack of resources, and life challenges into a wealth of inspiration.

Meditation is also a practice of presence. So it allows me to understand what presence truly is. And it is an exciting place, where you can even begin to turn the observance in upon itself. To perceive what the soul is. So for me it is just very intriguing to explore. I think it's one of the greatest tools humanity can understand. How to rinse the mind, the body, the soul; it's important for a healthy life. Especially if you crave peace, love, connection, spirit, meaning. Or contemplate what it is that you are made of besides everything we know. If you seek the unanswerable. In 'Nearly Invisible', you question the infinity of love, settling for the comfort of believing love exists beyond the extent of our ability to feel it.

Was writing the piece a catharsis in coming to terms with your own flavor of the emotion?

Absolutely. I remember that moment very viscerally. It was a beautiful day. It was raining so hard. In the dead of winter. The day had been muted in light. Gray and fading to deep blue. I lit a candle in the window. Sat there watching it pulse. That is a great tool, if you want to practice meditation. Let the candle draw your minds attention, until it falls silent or still. At least enough to passively witness. I was having this romantic experience, listening to the rain. I was totally in love with it. I felt like peace was washing over me. I sat in the window sill, listening to the rain, writing over many cups of tea. Watching droplets of water wind down the window in the reflection of the flame. The entire afternoon. I had my journal with me. I wrote 'Nearly Invisible' in that moment. So it is very much a reflection of my own conversation with love at that time. 'Nearly Invisible' also references the alignment and unlocking power of the chakras. How important is being in tune with your physical body to the free-flowing of ideas and words, on the page?

I think it's best explained through the metaphor of space. When so much bogs you down, worry, heart ache, life struggles, the chaos of it all, the noise of our world, the pressure to be successful, the difficulty of that quest, time. All of these things will act like barriers to creativity. They are notoriously distracting. They will drain years of life's potential if your not present. If you can find a way to unlock their potential, to escape their constraints, and turn them into a power. You have essentially rocket fuel. Tuning into the body is how I transmute life into inspiration to keep trying against failure, defeat, challenge, or the unknown. It's how I begin to know where I am. The body will tell you everything if you just start to listen. For me when I am tuned in with my body everything else is flowing. I feel healthy, whole, clear on my message, authentic in my delivery, open to cross boundaries, and assured of my voice. Beyond PASTEL, you're also a regular contributor to Juste Milieu, an international literary and arts zine based in Michigan. Both PASTEL and Juste are showcases of diverse talent from around the globe: aside from being open to worldwide submissions, what about the publications you contribute to best compliments your prose?

PASTEL and Juste Milieu are mutually innovative. Exploring new forms of prose, opening and connecting artist across physical boundaries. Both are unafraid to take risk, to pursue something new. Both are building amazing communities. I see their communities beginning to cross, and that is really cool. I think they are reflections on the universality of art. Both have given me a home, and been catalysts in my career. Both Pastel and Juste Milieu are powered by passionate creators, who are developing outlets for new artists, and cultivate an eclectic diversity of voices. They are both forward thinking, and forging a space for discovery. PASPals can enjoy more of Taylor's work at her website lilaclacedlove.com and through her social media accounts. More is on the horizon all the time, and these places will always keep you in the loop with what she's up to.

And to enjoy Taylor's All-Stars contribution, pick up a copy of PASTEL Magazine All-Stars at pastelthemagazine.bigcartel.com.